Myths About Domestic Violence

By AJ Underwood

Myth: Abusers can’t control their emotions, so they lash out.

Fact: Abusers don’t become violent because they lose control of themselves, they use violence to gain control over others. 

Myth: Domestic violence is caused by drinking and drug abuse.

Fact: Abuse is always a choice. Substances can lower someone’s inhibitions, but they don’t cause violence. 

Myth: Men are never victims, and women are never abusers.

Fact: People of all genders and sexualities experience abuse. Male survivors and LGBTQ+ folks are less likely to report abuse or seek help, in part because many domestic violence services are targeted towards heterosexual women. At Peace at Home, we are proud to serve ALL survivors of domestic violence. 

Myth: Some people attract or seek out abusive partners.

Fact: This is victim blaming. No personal history, personality type, or diagnosis can explain or excuse an abuser’s actions. 

Myth: Abusers are violent and controlling in all of their relationships. 

Fact: Abusers can be caring friends, charismatic coworkers, and high-performing employees. In fact, presenting a good image to the community can be a core part of an abuser's strategy - having a good reputation makes it less likely that their victim will be believed. The only thing that sets an abuser apart is their choice to seek power and control over someone else. 

Here at Peace at Home, we're committed to supporting all survivors of domestic violence. We offer several helpful services, all completely free and confidential.